I know that things could be better--or worse...and here I think about what I did for so long and losing my job could very well be a great thing for me. Someone told me earlier a saying that I remember from a long time ago...one door closes, another one opens. I spoke with a representive of a local college about their programs, admission; all those things you do when you are considering going back to school. The more I spoke with this person, the more I realized I needed to do something different...something I could be passionate about again. Granted, there was nothing wrong with my profession before, although it wasn't really what I needed or wanted in my heart. I'll know by tomorrow if this school is for me or not, and fill out all the paperwork that goes with it. For now, research, research, research....and rest.
My mind goes in all sorts of directions. One minute I'm excited and ready to tackle the world, the next I'm somber, sad and reflective, the moment after that I'm bitter and angry...fear sets in and the anxiety with it. All I know is that I have to feel the feelings and go through the steps. I really didn't think losing a job would be like a death, but it really is. Almost all of the same feelings...the same stages one needs to go through..are there. Maybe if I was younger it would not hurt as much, but at this time in my life, nearing the big 50 mark it brings with it so much more...again, I go through it and get back to feeling normal--at least for a little while.
Check in later,
great-good for u!
ReplyDeletewhen I read your blog the first word I thought of was grief. I guess when you think of grief you automatically think of death or someone dying or at least thats what I always thought. But personally I'm in the process of grieving the old life I lead and saying goodbye to it even though it was a distructive one, so why not grieve the loss of a job, maybe even one that did't appriciate you. Grief to me is a weird thing...saying goodbye and learning to heal from it..its hard. I think you're on the right track and like you said you have to go through the stages one needs to go through. H.J
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